Everybody is always tugging at you. They’d all like a sort of chunk out of you. I don’t think they realize it, but it’s like ‘grr do this, grr do that…’ But you do want to stay intact—intact and on two feet.

Well, I am too, and since I’m only thirty four and have a few years to go yet, I hope to have time to become better and happier, professionally and in my personal life. That’s my one ambition. Maybe I’ll need a long time because I’m slow. I don’t want to say that it’s the best method, but it’s the only one I know and it gives me the feeling that in spite of everything life is not without hope.

I refused to let articles appear in movie magazines signed, “By Marilyn Monroe,” she said, “I might never see that article and it might be okayed by somebody in the studio. This is wrong, because when I was a little girl I read signed stories in fan magazines and I believed every word the stars said to them. Then I’d try to model my life after the lives of the stars I read about. If I’m going to have that kind of influence, I want to be sure it’s because of something I’ve actually said or written.

It is because of all the people in the world that I would of liked to see her stay with was Joe. Joe was a wonderful man and she loved him and he loved her.

My Dad,

I don’t know how to tell you just how much I miss you - I love you till my heart could burst. All I love, all I want, all I need is you - forever.

I want to just be where you are and be just what you want me to be.

I know it’s lousy of me to be so late so after and I promise to try a million times harder. I promise.

I read once the role of Blanche Du Bois in Tennessee Williams’ Streetcar Named Desire. I’d like to play that on Broadway when I’m older. I like the last line so much. She says - I forget the exact words - something about she’s always had to depend on strangers for kindness. I know what she meant.

Dear Bernice,

I just can’t tell you both how I enjoyed meeting you. I want to thank you for everything, for I had a wonderful time.

Love, Norma Jeane.

P.S. Bernice I will write to you soon. Give Mona Rae my love.

She’s one of the few stars who don’t act as if she’s made it. She does not coast. She worked harder in Let’s Make Love than she did in Clash By Night. She’s still the same person.

Dear Marilyn:

That issue of Life Magazine that carried your picture set an all-time record in sales More copies were sold of that issue than any other issue in the history of Life. The figure was 6,300,000 and more could have been sold if they had printed more. Life’s circulation department tells me that this is the highest circulation figure in their entire publishing career.

Best Regards,

Joe Wolhandler.

Sam repeats, “Marilyn, that make-up is a little overdone.” She replies, “Sam, you don’t understand the public. This make-up is for my fans, those people waiting inside the movie houses, or outside in the street waiting in the crowd at an opening. They are the people the studios won’t let close to the theatre unless they pay to get in. When I arrive there I’ll turn and wave to them and they’ll see me an won’t be disappointed. My fans want me to be glamorous, I won’t let them down.

It was a remarkable experience. Because it was one of those very few times in all my experiences in Hollywood, when I felt that give and take - that can only happen when you are working with good actors. There was just this scene of one woman seeing another woman who was helpless and in real pain, and she was helpless and in pain. It was so real, I responded. I really reacted to her. She moved me so that tears came into my eyes.

As we were about to meet the queen I rushed into the ladies dressing room to check if my makeup was all right. And who do I see? Marilyn. So there we were powdering our noses, looking at each other, saying “hello-hello”. I really saw her close up. She was ravishing. It was the only time I saw Marilyn, and I will always remember it. She was so incredibly lovely, like a… baby. She was fresh, beautiful, and pure, and very touching with her vulnerability… She always was for me what every woman, not only me, must dream to be… I feel great affection for Marilyn Monroe.

Norma Jeane was always a butterfly. She was beautiful all of her life, within and without. During our courtship and marriage I never stopped loving to be with her, to stare at her, to laugh with and love her. We had a wonderful, joyful marriage. But in the end, it was not enough for Norma Jeane. Like all beautiful butterflies, she had to fly away.

It may sound peculiar to say so, because she is no longer with us, but we were very close. Once when we were doing that picture together, I got a call on set: my younger daughter had had a fall. I ran home and the one person to call was Marilyn. She did an awful lot to boost things up for movies when everything was at a low state; they’ll never be anyone like her for her looks, for attitude, for all of it.

I ask myself what am I afraid of. I know I have talent. I know I can act. Well, get on with it Marilyn. I feel I still try to ingratiate myself with people, try to tell them what they want to hear. That’s fear, too. We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets.